How Erectile Dysfunction Affects Sexual Partner(s)

Erectile dysfunction is a common condition. In fact, it's estimated to affect 4.3 million people assigned male at birth (AMAB) in the UK alone. [1] Fortunately, in many cases it's highly treatable. [2]

Although erectile dysfunction is common, it's also a condition that many people feel uncomfortable talking about with their partner(s). But the truth is that having open, honest conversations about the condition can be an important step towards managing it. Because ultimately, erectile dysfunction doesn't just affect the person experiencing it: it can also affect the person they have an intimate relationship with. [3]

In this article, we'll explore how erectile dysfunction affects a woman, and how it may affect both you and your sexual partner(s). We'll also look at the steps you can take to prevent erectile dysfunction from causing relationship problems, while also supporting your own health and wellbeing.

Article Summary:

• Erectile dysfunction is a common condition. However, it can impact the wellbeing of both the individual experiencing it and their sexual partner(s).
• Open and honest communication is one of the most important ways to address erectile dysfunction in a relationship.
• You may also consider couples’ psychosexual therapy and making positive lifestyle changes. Taking proactive steps to manage erectile dysfunction, with the support of your partner, may improve the condition.

What causes erectile dysfunction?

Erectile dysfunction happens when a person cannot achieve or maintain an erection firm enough for sexual activity. It can be caused by many different things, like hormonal changes or an underlying medical condition (like high blood pressure). [2] And a common trigger for erectile dysfunction is psychological wellbeing. In fact, it's estimated that psychogenic causes (mental health conditions like depression and performance anxiety) may account for 10-20% of all erectile dysfunction cases. [4]

However, the psychological impact of erectile dysfunction can work both ways: it can not only cause the condition, but also make it worse. [5]

It's worth remembering that the psychological impact of erectile dysfunction doesn't just affect the person experiencing it. It can also have a profound effect on a person's sexual partner(s), too. [5]

The partner's perspective

According to one survey focusing on the female perspective, 79% of women have experienced their partner losing an erection during sexual activity. [6] Although it's a very common experience, there are several ways that erectile dysfunction can affect sexual partner(s):

Erectile dysfunction and self-confidence

Whether it's a one-time occurrence or a regular experience, erectile dysfunction can negatively impact a person's self-confidence. [2] But it can also affect the self-confidence of a person's sexual partner(s), too. [7]

A French study of heterosexual couples revealed that it may not be erectile dysfunction itself that affects a woman's sexual satisfaction. In fact, the results suggest that a woman is much more likely to be affected by their partners' attitude towards the condition (like intimacy withdrawal and avoidance). [8]

These changes in sexual behaviour can unintentionally impact a partner's self-esteem. [5, 9] And, over time, this doesn't just affect the partner but the relationship as a whole.

Emotional intimacy matters

While men and women may sometimes think about "emotional intimacy" differently, it's something that both men and women value in their relationships. [10, 11] But if communication breaks down in a relationship, it can make it more difficult to sustain this intimacy.

Don't ignore the signs

While psychological factors can play a role in erectile dysfunction, it can sometimes indicate an underlying, undiagnosed physical condition (like high blood pressure, Peyronie's disease and the early stages of heart disease). [2] If you regularly experience erectile dysfunction, it's really important to seek medical advice and rule out any potential medical conditions that could be affecting your performance. This is because, if left undiagnosed, these conditions could pose a health risk.

In fact, one small study found that in relationships where people experienced erectile dysfunction, their partners were often concerned that erectile dysfunction could be a symptom of an underlying condition. However, their advice to seek help had been ignored. [7]

Ruling out any underlying medical conditions can not only help to treat or prevent erectile dysfunction: it can also protect your health, and help your partner feel heard and appreciated.

How to prevent erectile dysfunction from affecting your sexual relationship

Conversation is key

Dialogue is crucial when it comes to dealing with erectile dysfunction as a couple. Even though it can be an uncomfortable topic to address, it’s important to remember that it’s something that affects many people at some point in their lives.

And the clearer the communication, the less space there is for misunderstanding. Around 82% of partners believe that talking openly about erectile function and sex is an important part of maintaining a good relationship. [5]

Research also shows that how your sexual partner(s) both respond to, and understand, erectile dysfunction are important factors in helping you to manage the condition. And working together on finding solutions as a couple (rather than just the person experiencing erectile dysfunction) may also support improved erectile function. [5]

Open and honest conversations around erectile dysfunction don't just help to erase the stigma associated with the condition: they may also help to improve your outcome.

Explore different types of intimacy

Sex isn’t the only way to be intimate with your significant other or achieve relationship satisfaction. And intimacy doesn't have to revolve around penetrative sex and achieving an orgasm.

If you think your erectile dysfunction may be psychological, you and your partner(s) might find it helpful to try psychosexual therapy (also known as "sex therapy"). [9] This is a type of talking therapy, which can help couples to overcome issues like intimacy blocks and performance anxiety, and also address any emotional or psychological issues affecting their sexual health. It also encourages you to focus on other important elements of a relationship, like communication, trust and respect. [9]

It's also important for a partner to remember that erectile dysfunction can be caused by a number of factors, both physical and psychological. It’s certainly not a reflection of their sexual desirability.

Make positive lifestyle changes

Seeking professional help for erectile dysfunction might feel uncomfortable at first, but it could make a real difference to both your wellbeing, and that of your sexual partner(s).

And, while therapy may be helpful if you think your erectile dysfunction is psychologically-related, if you think there's an underlying physical factor then medication might be the right treatment route for you.

However, while studies have shown the benefits of medical treatment for erectile dysfunction, you should try making positive lifestyle changes too. [12, 13] These could include:

• Stopping smoking
• Maintaining a healthy weight
• Eating a healthy, balanced diet
• Exercising regularly
• Trying to manage stress and anxiety as much as possible [9, 14]

Making positive lifestyle changes could help improve your sexual function, without the need for medical support.

If you do decide to explore medication, support is available. At MedExpress, we're here to help you check your eligibility and explore your treatment options.

Find out which treatment may be suitable for you with MedExpress.

References

1. Erectile Dysfunction: The Urology Foundation [Internet]. The Urology Foundation. 2024. Available from: https://www.theurologyfoundation.org/urology-health/male-reproductive-organs-conditions/erectile-dysfunction/
2. National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases. Symptoms & Causes of Erectile Dysfunction | NIDDK [Internet]. National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases. 2019. Available from: https://www.niddk.nih.gov/health-information/urologic-diseases/erectile-dysfunction
3. Elterman DS, Bhattacharyya SK, Mafilios M, Woodward E, Nitschelm K, Burnett AL. The Quality of Life and Economic Burden of Erectile Dysfunction. Research and Reports in Urology. 2021 Feb;Volume 13:79–86.
4. Contributors WE. Psychological Causes of Erectile Dysfunction [Internet]. WebMD. Available from: https://www.webmd.com/erectile-dysfunction/ed-psychological-causes
5. Allen MS, Wood AM, Sheffield D. The Psychology of Erectile Dysfunction. Current Directions in Psychological Science [Internet]. 2023 Sep 8;32(6). Available from: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/09637214231192269
6. Nih.gov. 2024. Available from: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8240332/
7. Rutherford D. Accounts of the impact of erectile dysfunction on heterosexual couples from men seeking erectogenic treatment and their partners. UCLan - University of Central Lancashire [Internet]. 2012 May [cited 2026 Jun 16]; Available from: https://knowledge.lancashire.ac.uk/id/eprint/6775/
8. Colson MH. Women faced with the problem of erectile dysfunction: women’s view on a male problem. Progres en urologie : journal de l’Association francaise d’urologie et de la Societe francaise d’urologie [Internet]. 2005 Sep;15(4):710–6. Available from: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16459691/
9. Sheng Z. Psychological consequences of erectile dysfunction. Trends in Urology & Men’s Health. 2021 Nov;12(6):19–22.
10. Ubando M. Gender Differences in Intimacy, Emotional Expressivity, and Relationship Satisfaction. Pepperdine Journal of Communication Research [Internet]. 2016;4:13. Available from: https://digitalcommons.pepperdine.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1040&context=pjcr
11. Wahring IV, Simpson JA, Paul. Romantic Relationships Matter More to Men than to Women. Behavioral and Brain Sciences. 2024 Dec 26;1–64.
12. Sontag A, Rosen RC, Litman HJ, Ni X, Araujo AB. The role of initial success rates and other factors in determining reliability of outcomes of phosphodiesterase inhibitor therapy for erectile dysfunction: a pooled analysis of 17 placebo-controlled trials of tadalafil for use as needed. The journal of sexual medicine [Internet]. 2013 Feb;10(2):541–50. Available from: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22905853/
13. Sairam K, Kulinskaya E, Hanbury D, Boustead G, McNicholas T. Oral sildenafil (ViagraTM) in male erectile dysfunction: use, efficacy and safety profile in an unselected cohort presenting to a British district general hospital.. BMC Urology. 2002 Apr 18;2(1).
14. Erectile dysfunction (impotence) [Internet]. NHS. 2019. Available from: https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/erection-problems-erectile-dysfunction/